{"id":1417,"date":"2026-05-13T22:01:42","date_gmt":"2026-05-14T02:01:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kidsincrisis.org\/sub\/?p=1417"},"modified":"2026-05-13T22:01:42","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T02:01:42","slug":"what-kids-really-wish-we-knew","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kidsincrisis.org\/sub\/2026\/05\/13\/what-kids-really-wish-we-knew\/","title":{"rendered":"What Kids Really Wish We Knew"},"content":{"rendered":"

By\u00a0Shari Shapiro<\/span><\/p>\n

One of my favorite things about my job is leaving my office and walking downstairs.<\/p>\n

At Kids In Crisis, our shelter sits just below our offices. Whenever I need a reset in the middle of a long day, I head down to where the kids staying with us are. I say hi, sit for a few minutes, and ask how school went.<\/p>\n

And every single time, I come back with an education.<\/p>\n

Usually in Modern English.<\/p>\n

The last time I went down, one of the kids told me a snack was \u201cbussin\u2019.\u201d A song on the speaker was \u201cmid,\u201d which apparently is not a compliment. Someone\u2019s new sneakers were \u201cfire.\u201d A younger one informed me, that a boy in her class had \u201crizz.\u201d One girl asked me to \u201cspill the tea\u201d about who I had a crush on when I was in school.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to laugh at. I do, too. Some of it is genuinely funny, and most of it will be embarrassing to everyone involved in about\u2026 six\u2026 or seven\u2026 months.<\/p>\n

But notice what\u2019s underneath all of it.<\/p>\n

Kids are always working on language. They are trying to find words for friends, for feelings, for the shape of a day. The slang is just the part we can hear. Most of what they are trying to say is harder to put into words, and some of it never quite makes it out.<\/p>\n

I know an occupational therapist who works in a school in Greenwich, and something she said stuck with me. She told me that kids hold their feelings in their words. And when they don\u2019t have the words, they hold their feelings in their bodies.<\/p>\n

That changed the way I listen. Here are three things I hear kids working to put into words. They haven\u2019t landed on the slang for any of them yet.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. “I\u2019m not being dramatic. I just don\u2019t have the words yet.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    When a child melts down over something small, it\u2019s tempting to say they\u2019re overreacting. But most of the time, what looks like drama could be a child running out of language.<\/p>\n

    They may feel something big. They can\u2019t name it. They can\u2019t explain why the morning went south, or why a comment from a friend landed so hard. So, it comes out loud, or tearful, or stomping down a hallway.<\/p>\n

    Adults have decades of practice naming feelings. Kids don\u2019t. They are still learning the difference between tired and overwhelmed, between nervous and disappointed, between hurt and embarrassed.<\/p>\n

    When we slow down and help them put words to it, even just, \u201cthat sounds really frustrating,\u201d we are not giving in to the drama. We\u2019re teaching them the language they will use for the rest of their lives.<\/p>\n

    2. \u201cSchool is exhausting, even when nothing is wrong.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

    A child walks in the door after school, drops their backpack, and seems done. Not upset or in trouble. Just completely done.<\/p>\n

    By necessity, schools ask a lot of kids, even on good days. They are sitting still, following instructions, making friends, managing transitions, reading faces, raising hands, trying not to cry in front of other people if something goes wrong. They are \u201con\u201d for seven hours straight.<\/p>\n

    By the time they get home, they have nothing left to be charming with.<\/p>\n

    When they collapse on the couch with their tablet and speak in grunts, that doesn\u2019t mean something is wrong. It means home feels safe enough to stop performing.<\/p>\n

    The best thing we can do is not take it personally. A snack, a quiet minute, a question about anything other than school. Those small things say, \u201cYou can just be here. You don\u2019t have to be on.\u201d<\/p>\n

    3. \u201cI don\u2019t need you to fix it. I need you to be steady.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

    When a child is going through something hard, our instinct as adults is to do something. Solve it. Explain it. Find the lesson.<\/p>\n

    Most of the time, that\u2019s not what they are asking for.<\/p>\n

    What they are looking for is someone who doesn\u2019t get rattled when they are. Someone whose face doesn\u2019t change when they say the hard thing. Someone who is still there an hour later, a day later, a week later.<\/p>\n

    Kids can handle a lot of difficulty. What they can\u2019t always handle is feeling alone in it.<\/p>\n

    Steadiness is quiet. It isn\u2019t the big speech or the perfect advice. It\u2019s the parent who keeps making breakfast the same way. The coach who still says hi after a bad game. The counselor who shows up on the same day every week.<\/p>\n

    None of that sounds dramatic. None of it will ever be the thing a child posts about. But years later, it\u2019s what they remember.<\/p>\n

    If you\u2019re ever working to figure out what\u2019s underneath your child\u2019s words and could use another set of ears, you don\u2019t have to do it on your own. Our 24\/7 Helpline is always open at 203-661-1911. You can call us, and you can now text us at the same number.<\/p>\n

    Kids today have more words than any generation before them. And still, the things that matter most are the hardest to say.<\/p>\n

    Our job isn\u2019t to understand every signal perfectly. It\u2019s to stay close enough to notice, and steady enough that when they are finally ready to say the real thing, we\u2019re ready.<\/p>\n

    That\u2019s the tea.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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