{"id":1215,"date":"2025-07-09T14:06:16","date_gmt":"2025-07-09T18:06:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kidsincrisis.org\/sub\/?p=1215"},"modified":"2025-07-30T13:25:09","modified_gmt":"2025-07-30T17:25:09","slug":"mental-health-matters-grandparenting-in-a-time-of-big-feelings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kidsincrisis.org\/sub\/2025\/07\/09\/mental-health-matters-grandparenting-in-a-time-of-big-feelings\/","title":{"rendered":"Mental Health Matters: Grandparenting in a Time of Big Feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>By Shari L. Shapiro<\/strong>
\nExecutive Director, Kids In Crisis<\/strong><\/p>\n

The other day, I spoke with a friend who had just spent a week with her grandkids. She laughed as she told me how exhausted she was. \u201cI used to think I raised three kids just fine,\u201d<\/em> she said, \u201cbut now I\u2019m apparently doing everything wrong. I put the bib on backwards, I gave too many snacks, and I didn\u2019t swaddle tight enough.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

We both smiled, but there was a tenderness behind it. Being a grandparent is one of life\u2019s great joys. It can also be surprisingly hard.<\/p>\n

At Kids In Crisis, we spend most of our time supporting young people and their parents. But lately, more and more, we\u2019re hearing from grandparents, too. They\u2019re asking good, heartfelt questions. \u201cMy daughter is really anxious. How do I help her without stepping on her toes?\u201d \u201cMy son says I can\u2019t drive the baby anywhere, even to the park. Should I be offended?\u201d \u201cHow do I stay close to my grandkids when the rules keep changing?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

These are not small concerns. They are reminders that mental health is not just a teen or kid issue. It\u2019s a whole family issue. Especially during summer, when school is out and families are spending more time together, the dynamics between generations can get complicated. And emotional.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a quote from AARP that I think every grandparent should hear: \u201cYour grandchild is not your child. Repeat, not your child.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s tough love. But it\u2019s true.<\/p>\n

Our job as grandparents is to love deeply, support gently, and keep learning. We may have raised our kids decades ago, but that doesn\u2019t mean we stop growing. Sometimes that means watching our adult children parent in ways that feel unfamiliar or even frustrating. Other times it means holding back on advice, even when we\u2019re certain it would help.<\/p>\n

One grandmother I know told me she bought a fancy musical toy for her granddaughter\u2019s birthday. It sang, it lit up, it did a little dance. She was so excited to give it. But her daughter gently told her not to bring it. \u201cWe\u2019re trying to cut back on noise and clutter,\u201d<\/em> she said. So the grandmother kept the toy at her house instead. And now, every time her granddaughter visits, they press the button together and giggle at the silly tune. It turned into a special tradition, not a point of tension.<\/p>\n

These kinds of small adjustments can make all the difference.<\/p>\n

Here are a few things we\u2019ve seen help grandparents show up in ways that support mental health for the whole family:<\/p>\n